Sunday, March 8, 2009

Your Hotel Checker in Amsterdam

One thing I love about living in Amsterdam is the plethora and range of hotels found here. One thing I dislike about said hotels is that so many of them are poorly kept. Shoddy. Tattered. Filthy. Understaffed. Ill-equipped. And that's a three-star.

HOW CAN I BE SURE MY ROOM IS A GOOD ONE: If you are really, really concerned about your room in Amsterdam, then you probably need me to check it out for you. I will spend the night in the hotel of your choice and utilize whichever services you are curious about, then give you a detailed report via telephone the next day. You pay my expenses, i.e. the room cost plus the cost of extra services you request. If you want me see what 100 euros will get me in the dining room I'll do that. If you want to see how efficient their laundry services are, I'll check that. Beyond the expenses of what you want me to investigate, you pay nothing. I'll also email you at least two quality digital photos, one of the hotel's exterior, another of the room I'm staying in.

WHY WOULD I WANT TO PAY YOU MONEY TO STAY IN A HOTEL ROOM: Only if the stakes are high, obviously. If you are coming to A'dam for a wacky weed weekend, then this is a bit over the top. But if your superior just instructed you to arrange a perfect fortnight in Amsterdam and the quality of the hotel is paramount and you don't have the time nor inclination to wade through a sea of internet reviews and hotel promos, then paying me to check out the facilities before you book is an efficient way to either ensure a good choice or ward off disaster. Or, if you own a hotel and you need a spy, I'd be perfect. I'm detail-oriented, and I notice everything.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS: Because I simply love staying in hotels, and I love Amsterdam, and I know a lot of visitors are unfamiliar with the hotels here, so I see this as my way of shining some light on the whole situation. I'm not so flush that I can justify the expenditure of a hotel room in a city where I already have a perfectly good place to lay my head at night, so that's where you come in. I don't want to be a full time hotel inspector, but I am a great believer in consumer reviews (I am gonow at epinions), and this seems like a way to get more savvy about the very city I'm living in without breaking the bank to do so.

HOW CAN I TRUST YOU: Well, I've had this blog up for a while, and I'm not a secret blogger, you can figure out who I am, where I am. I'm opening a shop in Amsterdam, so I'm not about to ruin my reputation for the sake of one night free in a hotel room.

WHAT IF I NEED THIS REVIEW IN WRITING/MORE PHOTOS: That can be arranged, but there would be a fee involved, which would be upwards of 25 euros, depending on how much detail you want in the report or how many extra photos you want. Email me; we'll work it out.

BUT I WANT FREE INFO!: And I'm happy to oblige. I'm familiar with (i.e. I've seen the room and bathroom) the following hotels in Amsterdam: Quentin Leidsesquare (AVOID!); Quentin Leidsekade (good location, other problems); Le Coin (recommend); The Sphynx (shudder), Smith (not great) and a few B&Bs that unfortunately are out of business. Culture tip-google search tip: In the USA B&B usually implies a rural house or an inn, but the way the Dutch use it does not signify the same thing; in Amsterdam a B&B simply refers to any apartment that's been made available for renting. All in all, I think you get a better bang for your buck staying in what they call a B&B here, and of course I'd investigate those the same way, but I know of none to recommend at the moment.

I WANT TO ARRANGE THIS: email me at and we'll get it started.

1 comment:

  1. For a truly balanced viewpoint, I can be hired at the same time/same visit.


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